NBSB: No Boyfriend Since Birth

I am 24 years old and my most asked question, especially from the Titas/Aunts, is "Do you have a boyfriend?"  And until now, the answer is still no.

I'm what some Filipinos call "NBSB" in other words; No Boyfriend Since Birth.  It's not that I've never liked anyone, trust me I have, but I guess it's because I don't feel ready.  Growing up, I've only really liked two guys (obviously, both guys didn't know about it).  I've had crushes here and there, but I don't see myself in a relationship with any of them (also because half of them are celebrities LOL).  Throughout middle school and high school, I always try to look for the "potential" boyfriend in every single guy that I come across.  Truthfully, that's not the right way to go.  My younger self just thought that being in a relationship is just liking one another and being together.  Boy was I wrong.

Being in a relationship is a lot of work.  You have to invest time and effort, not just on yourself but also to your partner.  I didn't know that.  I've never been on a relationship.  I've never even been on a date.  The only things I know about relationships are what I see from movies and others' stories.  So basically for me, having a boyfriend means you hold the other person's hand and kiss.  I never looked beyond what it means to like, or even love, someone.  Thinking about it, I'm just glad I didn't get into a relationship when I was younger because of how immature I was with the idea.

As much as I wanted a boyfriend, I avoided it as well.  I will always say "oh we will make a cute couple," but do I actually want to be in a committed relationship with someone? No, I don't.  Let me tell you why... I'm scared.  I'm scared of getting hurt.  I'm scared of people leaving me.  I'm scared that someday the person I love will stop loving me.  Through the experience of those around me, I learned how much joy love can bring to two people but also how much pain it can cause.  I've seen what that pain does to people, and I don't want that.  Unlike my younger self, I've put up a wall and keep every one at arm's length.

I'm still scared but I'm slowly learning to be more open to the idea of being in a relationship.  It's definitely a learning process, but I believe in God's time, and He will give me someone that He created for me.  So for now, I'm happily single and it gives me the time to work on myself and let me be a much more confident and independent woman.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

We Come In Three

Life Update 02.18.2020

More Than A Condition